Fear moves on fleet feet, distorting all it touches; exaggerating, permeating, penetrating, overshadowing all. I think that sentence explains most of our reactions to approaching death.
Our fear interprets what we see. Fear that our special person is not being properly taken care of. Fear within ourselves that we have no control over what is unfolding. Fear that death will come no matter what we do or however much we don’t want it to come. It is through the eyes of fear that we react to the unknown of how life ends.
Knowledge reduces fear. Even a little bit of knowledge helps ease and often neutralize the fear we all bring to the dying experience. Fear intermingled with sadness literally blurs our perception of what is occurring and hinders our ability to participate in one of the most important life experiences.
Knowledge is important for the person dying because they are processing their life on many levels. It is important for the watchers because it is our final opportunity to connect, to have closure. To say goodbye.
It’s now time for hospice and end of life doulas to enter. They bring the knowledge, guidance, support, and comfort during the challenging, fearful, and sad time.
90% of end of life work is education, providing knowledge of the normal, natural dying process AND applying that information to the person dying.
Knowledge gives the opportunity to recognize that nothing abnormal is happening. Sad – very sad – but not abnormal. Knowledge is knowing what is “normal” and what is not. Knowledge is knowing how to say goodbye and when.
Knowledge won’t remove all the fear brought to the bedside but it can reduce it. What knowledge CAN do is open the door to a sacred experience for all involved.
Something More… about “It is through the eyes of fear that we react to the unknown of how life ends…”
To help demystify the dying process, end of life doulas, hospices and home health agencies show my short film, NEW RULES for End of Life Care to family caregivers. Faith communities will show the film to their congregants and have a discussion afterwards. It is used as a marketing tool for agencies in outreach programs- “This is how we take care of our patients” and to educate new staff members.
Review:
New Rules of End of Life Care
It has been wonderful. I am showing the DVD to as many people as I can including family members, friends, Church organizations such as grieving ministry, etc. Thank YOU for this awesome resource! -Sr. Jeanne d’Arc Untz
